When It’s Time to Let Go: The Hard Truth About Firing Massage Clients

Massage therapists and bodyworkers are taught to be compassionate and present for others. But balance is important in a therapeutic relationship. You can’t always be the one giving while the client only takes.

Sometimes, letting a client go is part of being a responsible business owner with healthy boundaries, especially as you build your practice. For many of us, that process never really ends. Sometimes, letting a client go is actually helping them. Even if they think you’re the best, that doesn’t always mean they’re the right fit for your schedule, style, energy, or the way you want to run your business.

The Client Who Taught Me the Lesson

I didn’t fire my first difficult client right away. In fact, it took years. When I started out over 30 years ago, I had a client who constantly pushed my (admittedly weak) boundaries. My hourly rates were low, $35 at the time, and he was clearly wealthy, working as a financial advisor. He'd buy 10-packs and still ask for a discount.

He was picky, too. He’d say things like, “I want exactly what you did last time!” and was always trying to control how the session went. As my rates slowly increased, he kept trying to talk me down, while still being demanding. I began to dread seeing him. And yet… I kept letting him come back, session after session, because I was still building my practice and I needed the income.

Eventually, I found the courage to let him go. I kept it simple and kind. I told him the issue was with me, not him, and that he deserved a therapist who could meet his expectations. He didn’t take it well, but I stood firm and refused to rebook him.

Years later, another therapist told me he still talked about me, saying I was the best massage therapist he ever had. (Kind of rude to say to her, but that was him in a nutshell.) Lesson learned: the longer you wait, the harder it gets. You build boundaries the same way you build confidence: by doing the hard thing, even when it’s uncomfortable.

Why You Might Need to Fire a Client

Let’s talk about some valid, professional, and completely okay reasons to end a client relationship:

1. They Cross Boundaries

Inappropriate comments, sexual innuendos, or trying to turn the session into something it’s not are clear red flags. Still, many therapists feel stuck or afraid to speak up.

I’ve had staff come to me about these issues, and when they weren’t ready to confront the client themselves, I stepped in and made the call, literally. I told the client they were no longer welcome at our practice.

Another boundary issue that often gets overlooked is when clients try to dictate how you work. Normal feedback like ‘a little more pressure’ or ‘please avoid my low back’ is fine. But some clients constantly direct your technique, choreograph the session, or try to control every move. That isn’t collaboration; it’s control. If a client doesn’t trust your professional judgment, the relationship usually isn’t healthy.

You don’t need to wait for something obvious or overt. Repeated discomfort is enough.

2. They Need Work You Don’t Offer, or Can’t Sustainably Provide

Sometimes the issue isn’t just  training, it’s physical limits. If a client consistently asks for deep pressure and you physically can’t provide it without straining or hurting yourself, that’s a valid reason to let them go.

Pushing your body past what it can sustainably deliver doesn’t make you a better therapist; it shortens your career.

Sometimes the client would do best with a different therapist and a different skill set. But if you want to keep the deep-pressure client without sacrificing your body, specialized training, such as Ashiatsu barefoot massage, can make all the difference.

With the right technique, you can use your body more appropriately to deliver deep, steady pressure that’s easier on your body and often more effective for the client. That’s the benefit of barefoot massage and bodywork when taught well.

💡 Curious about learning barefoot massage?

If you’re ready to stop struggling with “more pressure” requests and want to save your hands, take a look at our upcoming trainings at NC Ashiatsu. Your body will thank you, and so will the clients who’ve been chasing deep work without the pain.

3. They Don’t Respect Your Approach

Sometimes a client isn’t resisting massage; they’re resisting the way you work.

Maybe your style is slow and deep. Maybe you’re more subtle and nervous-system focused. Maybe you use compression, stretching, or focused therapeutic work instead of “fluff.” None of that is wrong. It’s your approach, and the right clients will love you for it.

But when a client doesn’t trust your process, or keeps trying to steer you away from how you work best, it becomes exhausting and usually doesn’t end well.

In barefoot massage practices, this often shows up. Some clients are initially uncomfortable with the idea. I had a client who resisted but eventually came around and told me he’d never want another kind of massage. That’s the best outcome.

But if someone insists on deep pressure and won’t accept the method you use to provide it, whether that’s feet, forearms, elbows, or a slower therapeutic approach, that’s a sign it may not be a good fit.

I’m not going to risk hurting myself trying to do with my hands what I can do more safely with my feet. And even outside of barefoot massage, the principle stands: your body matters, and your style or method matters.

If a client doesn’t trust your approach, it’s okay to refer them to someone who works differently.

4. Scheduling Conflicts and Clients Who Don’t Respect Your Time

Some clients only ask for appointments outside your available times. They cancel at the last minute and expect you to make exceptions, like fitting them in on your day off or waiving a late fee. This adds stress and makes your time feel less valuable.

Early in my career, I worked whenever a client was available: nights, weekends, whenever. Massage was my sole income, and I had bills to pay. Back then, the client set the schedule.

But as I got busier, started a family, I made a change. I set regular hours and kept to them. Now, clients arrange their schedules around mine, not the other way around.

I’m still happy to be flexible for great clients when it makes sense, but I’ve kept a consistent work schedule for many years and I protect it. You can build the schedule you want and have clients respect it. It takes time, but it starts with boundaries.

You decide how and when you work. If it’s not a match, let the client go.

If you’re still working on scheduling boundaries, read Your Schedule Is Your Livelihood. Protecting your calendar means protecting your income and your long-term career.

5. The Clients You Quietly Dread

This one is harder to define, but your gut knows when something is off. Sometimes you can’t put your finger on one specific thing, the energy is just weird, and it slowly becomes something you can’t ignore.

It’s not realistic or necessary to love every client. People are different, and sometimes a session just feels off. We all have those days.  But if you feel that way every single time you see their name on your schedule, that’s a problem. It usually means something is out of balance.

You don’t need a dramatic reason to move on. You’re allowed to protect your peace and energy. That’s part of running a successful massage practice.

How to Fire a Client Professionally

There isn’t a single script that works for everyone, but here are a few things to think about when you’re preparing to part ways with a client:

Be Honest, But Kind

Focus on the fit, not the fault. For example:

“I feel that I may not be the best therapist for your needs, and I want to make sure you’re getting the care that works for you.”

Or:

“I’m finding that this professional relationship isn’t aligning well with the way I work best, and I think it would be better for both of us if you found someone more suited to your preferences.” Be direct, but don’t argue or get defensive.

You don’t need to defend yourself or over-explain.

Choose the Right Method

It might seem easier to send a quick text, but don’t. Texting a client to end your professional relationship is too casual and can easily seem dismissive, even if that’s not your intention.

When you let a client go, you set the tone for how you want to be seen in your community. People talk, and you don’t want to give them a reason to speak poorly about you.

Use email if you need a written record and want some distance. If the relationship has been longer or more personal, speak in person or over the phone.

Yes, it can be uncomfortable, but as I like to say, "There's a time in every practice you have to put on your big girl panties." You’re the professional, and you’ll never regret handling things with clarity and respect.

Think Beyond the Moment

Just because a client isn’t a good fit for you doesn’t mean they couldn’t be an ideal client for someone else.

How you end a therapeutic relationship matters. Sometimes a client may reflect and realize they were in the wrong, which can change how they act with their next massage therapist. Even if that doesn’t happen, you’ll know you did your part and handled things with integrity.

If a client’s behavior is inappropriate or unsafe, that’s different. You don’t owe anyone a referral, and it’s unethical to send a client with that behavior to someone else.

Letting Go Makes Space for What Fits

Letting go of a client who isn’t a good fit can feel scary, especially if you’re still building your practice. You might worry about income, reputation, or losing momentum.

But every time you say no to the wrong fit, you make room for the right clients.

There are clients who value your work, respect your boundaries, and align with how you want to practice. They can’t find you if your schedule is full of people who drain your energy.

This is one reason we work for ourselves: to build practices that reflect our values, protect our energy, and bring us joy.

It’s not just about making money. It’s about protecting your body, building something sustainable, and still holding an intentional and sacred space for healing, with clear, safe boundaries for both the client and the practitioner.